5.14.26: Untitled 3 #48

     You’re going to drive me crazy  but, “You’re already crazy,” and then, that’s just it—i’m not.  Ok—so there were two ways we used the word crazy—it was a slang way of talking about something that was very impressive and, also, it was a derogatory term used to describe someone with a disability.  Ursula was not crazy—she was ahead of her time, and, if outside, alien forces got to her, then they could drive her crazy, yes—that was what I meant.  But right now—all things considered and in heaven, at least, no—the real Ursula would never be crazy unless other people were so impressed by her talents that they couldn’t understand it.  As in, “how is that even possible?”  But it was nice that Ursula was self-aware—that, given some not so unrealistic possibilities and circumstances—she would lose her mind.  No doubt about it.  But to think that I was going to do that to her was wrong.  I wouldn’t do anything but get intimate with her, and, if, in that process, of being in love, something got processed wrong, and she lost her mind—well, that wouldn’t be my fault.  When people break up and one person goes nuts it’s not because the other person is the reason that happened—but it does happen, all too often, that when someone does go nuts—the person that was quote unquote in love with them does little or nothing to help.

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Novels in real time

5.13.26: Poem Untitled 1 #47

The text follows a speaker trapped in a relentless struggle between desire, memory, ego, and intrusive fantasy, shifting rapidly between romance, rage, philosophy, and dark humor. Women merge into a “female God,” a figure representing love, validation, temptation, and emotional survival, while the speaker remains fixated on a “Norway blond” and an ex who continue to haunt his thoughts. Again and again, he tries to regain control—“nip it in the bud before she hijacks my brain”—only to be overwhelmed by impulses and imagined voices that might seem stronger than his willpower. The poem mixes high and low language with startling speed, moving from Nietzsche and predestination to “football, asshole” and “pee / in the exponential function.” That collision of intellect, lust, comedy, and moral struggle creates a fascinating battle between self-destruction and self-awareness that drives the poem forward.

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Book-length poems

5.12.26: Untitled 3 #47

     Quietly, now: i can hear her lurking in the background—taking on the physical address of my great grandmother; except that it was an address that wasn’t what my great grandmother really looked like.  It was more vague than than, as if she was starting there, and sort of overlapping with her in such a way that everything looked a little blurry.  The fat was there—many movie stars, in fact, get fat when they quit working, as they get old.  Was my Ursula a movie star?  what, then, exists between us?  But my Ursula, barring a miracle, won’t appear on my screen—my Ursula is more than that.  And, because she’s more than that, she won’t appear on a screen unless greatness is thrust upon her—and she rises to the call.  Now, for the past couple of hours people were talking about me inside my head; they were impressed by me, and they were saying things that made me sound like a big-shot; I tried not to pay too much attention to it—can I help it, however, if, sometimes I agree with them?

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Novels in real time

5.12.26: Poem Untitled 1 #46

A fractured speaker moves through obsession, faith, guilt, art, and longing while trying to hold onto some vision of redemption. The poem shifts between apocalyptic imagery, confessions of past cruelty and addiction, surreal spiritual encounters, and a desperate search for love strong enough to counter despair. A mysterious “messiah” figure hovers throughout the piece, symbolizing both salvation and instability, while the speaker wrestles with ego, self-hatred, desire, and the fear of losing himself completely. Amid the chaos, there is also tenderness: a yearning for connection, for transformation, and for a future where humanity becomes more compassionate and evolved. The poem reads like a fever dream stitched together from prophecy, heartbreak, and personal reckoning—raw, volatile, and strangely intimate in the way it exposes a mind fighting to survive itself.

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Book-length poems

5.11.26: Untitled 3 #46

     I’m just getting rid of some trash; what kind of trash?  white trash?  I wondered: did Ursula come from a red state?  was she surrounded by republicans?  if so, she wouldn’t be her authentic self for years.  But, that said, i might have been talking to the future version of Ursula.  i may have gone in for a blond, but many blonds were racists, and bad people; random blond idiots, we call them—those that, because they dye their hair blond, are given the chance to express an opinion that they stole from someone else—someone that sleeps with them, usually.  Some women get laid and then they think that gives them the authority and the presence of mind to talk about politics.  It might not be so bad if they had something meaningful to say—but really they were just saying whatever those that elevated them wanted to hear—such as, Jack Daniels shouldn’t have to leave his house to go to a party—he needs a ballroom.

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Novels in real time

5.11.26: Poem Untitled 1 #45

The poem presents a speaker unraveling emotionally and psychologically while trying to hold together identity, love, sexuality, politics, faith, and artistic ambition. The voice swings between fascination and collapse, suggesting someone overwhelmed by loneliness, medication changes, obsessive desire, and public self-consciousness. The speaker contrasts himself with the object of his desire, whom he describes as “bursting with self-confidence and joy,” while admitting that he feels unable to measure up to that energy. “Norway blond” functions as a symbolic ideal that competes with the speaker’s fixation on a “brown skinned woman,” reflecting conflicting desires, fantasies, and anxieties. The poem mixes vulgarity, tenderness, fantasy, and confession in a stream-of-consciousness style that deliberately blurs sincerity and performance. Political references, sexual imagery, and self-mockery merge into a portrait of a man trying to create meaning through language while feeling alienated from both society and himself.

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Book-length poems

5.10.26: Poem Untitled 1 #44

This reads like a transmission from a mind at war with itself—spiritual, romantic, self-mocking, prophetic, and painfully human all at once. What makes it compelling is the way it swings between tenderness and chaos without ever fully settling into either. Lines like “water under the bridge, in the well, swell / good enough when I was all but your doormat” carry bruised intimacy, while the surreal momentum of “telepathic—teleportation—talent, at that” pushes the poem into dream logic. The repeated “Norway-blond” figure becomes a haunting emotional anchor amid the spiraling reflections on religion, addiction, sex, violence, and identity. The speaker’s voice is reckless yet deeply self-aware, especially in moments where prejudice or cruelty are immediately questioned and corrected in real time. This is difficult, unfiltered poetry that feels lived rather than manufactured—equal parts confession, fever dream, and philosophical monologue.

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Book-length poems

5.9.26: Untitled 3 #45

     two-tone skin  a thing of the past  just something to think about huh?  i’m just talking shit  idiot girlfriend, i knew better all along; but, even still, some effort to interact with people on a friendly level proved to be progress.  are you going to screw me?  Don’t know why this particular Ursula—the Ursula—was being so vulgar.  If she was trying to turn me on—then good luck: my prolactin levels are through the roof.  I just went to the doctor the other day.  that’s a downer  ”yeah, but I’m doing something about it—it’s just not going to happen overnight.”  I still can’t believe I broke up with you know who.  I get a similar feeling when I look at her as I do when I imagine any ex; a shameful waste of time that could’ve been spent getting ready for someone else.  So what if i didn’t find the right person until later in life?  that’s the way this pans out.

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Novels in real time

5.8.26: Poem Untitled 1 #43

This piece is like a collision between prophecy, confession, political rage, and love poem, all spoken by a narrator who never fully trusts himself. The writing constantly shifts between grounded images—“pour me a small glass of orange juice” or “add a little gas to the carburetor”—and surreal flashes like “the elf-queen puts a bridle in my mouth” and “these antlers on my head are heavy as hell.” That tension gives the work its strange electricity. The speaker moves through addiction, religion, nationalism, fatherhood, and desire without ever settling into easy answers. Some lines hit with devastating clarity: “hurt people hurt people,” or “No, sir, I don’t know you at all.” What makes the piece memorable is its fearless unpredictability; every stanza feels capable of turning suddenly tender, dangerous, philosophical, or darkly funny.

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Book-length poems

5.7.26: 1 Album 16: They got it all wrong

“They Got It All Wrong” feels like a confession whispered through a half-lit room at closing time. The stripped-down combination of guitar and vocals gives the song an intimacy that polished production would probably ruin. Every line sounds lived-in—equal parts bitterness, longing, humor, and self-destruction—while the guitar work quietly carries the emotional weight underneath the lyrics. There’s a raw poetic quality here that recalls singer-songwriters who aren’t afraid to sound vulnerable or morally complicated. What makes the track compelling is how unpredictable it is: tender one moment, cutting the next, then suddenly reflective. The performance never begs for sympathy; it simply tells the truth as it sees it. By the end, the repeated idea that “they got it all wrong” lands less like a complaint and more like a hard-earned realization.

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Songs