5.14.26: Untitled 3 #48
You’re going to drive me crazy but, “You’re already crazy,” and then, that’s just it—i’m not. Ok—so there were two ways we used the word crazy—it was a slang way of talking about something that was very impressive and, also, it was a derogatory term used to describe someone with a disability. Ursula was not crazy—she was ahead of her time, and, if outside, alien forces got to her, then they could drive her crazy, yes—that was what I meant. But right now—all things considered and in heaven, at least, no—the real Ursula would never be crazy unless other people were so impressed by her talents that they couldn’t understand it. As in, “how is that even possible?” But it was nice that Ursula was self-aware—that, given some not so unrealistic possibilities and circumstances—she would lose her mind. No doubt about it. But to think that I was going to do that to her was wrong. I wouldn’t do anything but get intimate with her, and, if, in that process, of being in love, something got processed wrong, and she lost her mind—well, that wouldn’t be my fault. When people break up and one person goes nuts it’s not because the other person is the reason that happened—but it does happen, all too often, that when someone does go nuts—the person that was quote unquote in love with them does little or nothing to help.
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