I considered the following: if Ursula begins to tell me specific things about her day, then how do i know, at any point, that happened? That is to say, i could meet someone, and they might not, in 4D have actually done what they said, ever, and, well, there is not necessarily any reason to think that they would, in the future. So that raises two possibilities: there is another Ursula that did do whatever that was; or this 4D Ursula is passing on something that her 5D self has done at some point in her infinite lifetime. But how would that work? When i talk into the bulk, i resonate with the 5D Ursula, even if my specific question is not heard directly, and i get, ultimately, my 4D response. Now, my 4D Ursula might not hear my question consciously—literally; it might take place unconsciously. So I considered: if I asked her what she ate that day, for example, and she replied, i might be connected to the 5D Ursula, and what she ate, over some infinite period. Then the exact person that I am, at the moment that I asked, would be connected to that exact period, and, as such, my 4D Ursula’s unconscious response could be a reflection of that: a response, at that moment in time, that relates specifically to my 4D Ursula at that same moment of time—in some translated form or another. So, I concluded, asking a question did not necessarily promise a straight forward answer—the response could come from a superposition of 5D states that reflect my 4D Ursula’s state—and it wouldn’t necessarily go to follow that my 4D Ursula had actually done what her 5D self, according to my beliefs, most certainly did.
I am happy we got that figured out, since, i have to admit, i do not necessarily want to think that i will be replaced. Now, she could never be replaced, but i knew exactly what she meant, and, indeed, especially in 4D, life often forces us to rely on a partner to keep us company and stand for us when, due to the imperfections of a mortal life, we can’t always look out for ourselves, and our family may not live nearby, or, because of life’s imperfections, be able, themselves, to assist. A partner, then, leaves us feeling more secure, and security, which can almost be taken for granted in the next life, is an integral condition of happiness in this life. So no, I did not necessarily want to see her replaced, either, since, as it happens, i might never meet another 4D Ursula, and, it was possible, too, that there was one and only one Ursula that I would ever partner with.
I knew what she was getting at—she didn’t want me asking her, at some point in a 4D future, if, indeed, she had ever done what, at some point in the past, i’d asked her about—and then, if she hadn’t done it, find me thinking that, well, there must be another 4D Ursula that has—or that she necessarily must do something to fit my idea of who she is. What did you eat today? So i told her i was thinking of having bacon and tomato sandwiches—and i trusted that the message got through, and that, if we met in 4D, we might, at some point, build upon this moment by eating bacon and tomato sandwiches together—something that was highly likely to happen, if, in fact, we met, and we were together for a reasonable amount of time. But it was nice to talk about things that two people that already love each other, and know that they love each other, might talk about, as opposed to constantly seeking reassurance that we are meant for each other, as we had done, when, in fact, i imagined that Anna, at some point would leave her boyfriend.
But I thought about that time with Anna, and i couldn’t help but wonder, what if she, in fact was one form of my Ursula, and that we, in the next life, would be together for some degree of time—if not for all time? I had often imagined that i was speaking to her—it all seemed plausible. I realized, then, that this, in fact, was possible—that i, at some point in my 5D existence, might have been, or would be, with Anna. But i also thought that it was unlikely that she was the only Ursula, if she represented Ursula, since, at this time, my Ursula is not Anna—she’s someone else. If that was the case, then, i thought, i shouldn’t be critical of Anna, since events will resolve themselves soon enough, and we, in the next life, at least, will find ourselves in love for some potentially infinite, albeit a lesser infinity than the infinity that would include the Ursula(s) I am currently with, amount of time.
If this was the case, then, in fact, in the past, when I found myself turned off by Anna, I was, in all likelihood, reacting against, from a lack of faith, the real possibility that we would be together, even if we couldn’t be together in the foreseeable future. I considered, too, that even if she is attractive now, she will be far more attractive in the next life, and her beauty, then, at the point of our union, might perfectly align with the direction that I, at that time, was bound to go in. The more i thought about it, i allowed for this, a real possibility, especially since i had, in fact, spent over a year thinking that she might represent my Ursula, since, when I spoke with Ursula, at that time, i thought mostly of Anna. Indeed, I considered her a viable partner in this life, even if she, in this life, would never see me in the same light. This was actually a load off my shoulders, as it seemed to retroactively validate a history that might’ve become partially invalidated when i reacted against Anna—i wondered, didn’t i, how I might’ve gotten it wrong, and that, if I had, then i might’ve gotten other things wrong in my life, at that time, that, in fact, I didn’t necessarily get wrong.
So how would the order of events work out in 5D, if, in fact, I was with Anna, and then I was with my quote unquote Swedish blond, or vice versa? When I died, i imagined, i would merge with 5D—and there might be some causal link or register between my 5D self and my 4D self—but I was realizing that probably wasn’t the case. Instead, in 5D, I would simply always remember my 4D existence, and i wouldn’t, when I die, find myself “waking up.” That meant that, if I was with Anna, say, before i was with my Swedish blond, then, well, I always was with Anna at that time, and those experiences were not only experienced, in full, but they could be revisited upon sufficient reminders of that time, and what I was doing, at that time. So it wasn’t like I’d wake up and be forced to remember my time with Anna, feeling as if I might’ve missed out; I wouldn’t “wake up” at all—I’d simply merge with my 5D self at every moment simultaneously, and every experience, with Anna or with my Swedish blond, would be equally alive, and equally real.