Driven up the wall by his questions; don’t know why he couldn’t wait until tomorrow—so, I take something additional to tune out the anxiety he is communicating. i understand he may be in a bad place—and needs me to carry some of the burden, at least for a time, which i try to do, but when he persists into the night, i must draw the line, and send it back. i do that however i can. in my case it means adjusting my medication intake. Since i’m supercharged, i turn down the antidepressant—since i cannot stop his questions for the evening, i increase the antipsychotic. i have no problem with doing this, for now. in time, we’ll see how things evolve—perhaps i won’t need to send so much of it back to him—or those that, as fans, would like to be privy to my general broadcast.
I was back at his questions, nonetheless, first thing this morning, before getting ready for the day. Eight hours later I have answered them—and i do no intend, any time soon, to go down a rabbit hole again. he will just have to manage as best he can without dumping his back on me. i won’t let him do it beyond a certain point. This point, now, as a matter of fact. I’m stopping him, today.
there is no reason that a question cannot wait until tomorrow. happiness is the only path forward, the only way to true understanding, and, to push the limits, to think otherwise, is a mistake—a mistake that i am too old to make. i have no excuse. i just wind up forced to dump my back, in turn, on those that trust me, and have done nothing wrong.
don’t turn on me when times are hard;
i’m here to help, so draw your own line.
you have connections that you must discard,
perhaps they stem from the bottle, as mine,
at one time, most certainly did. Thereof,
having been turned out by my sources—
i sought help, and turned, in time, to His love.
Talent is a function of darker forces,
living, as they do, to punish Jesus,
the man at the center of the universe.
You might wonder how you’re not famous,
having suffered chapter, page, and verse,
but you must look to Him for your reward.
Agony suffered here resolves to light, there,
a source, emanating from the Lord.
You can feel it when you accept His care,
answers that, at times, we may not like.
So quit the addictions of your youth,
tell a destitute world to take a hike,
and find strength when you pursue the truth.
Then you’ll be both happy and go lucky,
determined, like me, to keep it that way.
My love lives for what she cannot see—
the spirit i find, amidst shades of gray.