Well you’ve been here a long time, and you’re going to be here a long time still that was what i wanted, of course—to get as much out of this life as I possibly could because what we do in this life enhances our eternal life. But that also seemed to mean that I would be on my own for a long time yet, which was fine, i guess, considering that Ursula might still be very young, or, as the case may be, unable to provide a life for us, which she’d have to do, since, as it happens, anonymity is all that i can foresee for years to come. Does that make me angry? It comes and goes—the people, and the civilization—that I’m surrounded by don’t live up to my expectations, and, I think, are from a different time. A time in which white people still seem to think that they deserve better than minorities—and a time in which rich white people think that poor white people are trash.
Well, I can hear you coming, but you’re a long way away, and i’m satisfied to say, I have you here, in my heart that was nice—that indicated that I was actually going somewhere, and that, whatever direction that was, it was going closer to her; furthermore, i didn’t want her to be in love with another man right now—i wanted to talk to the person that was talking to me directly, not getting our signals crossed by speaking to, and thinking of, someone that was a surrogate for me. Nobody’s perfect, so, if that was the case, i certainly understood a little about thinking of someone that isn’t right for us. But, thanks to Anna, i was fed up with loving someone that would find me creepy because they didn’t believe that someone else, out there, might exist. And, based on our relationship, I don’t think that she would read this and be intrigued. On the contrary, I think she’d be offended by that fact that I ignored her boyfriend.
I just didn’t want another situation like that. Now you see me, now you don’t—I don’t look perfect, in this life, but I will, once i assume my eternal shape. Fine—i could handle that. I just needed a little romance to align, properly, with her earthly form. I think, however, based on our conversations, that Ursula thinks highly of herself, and feels that she exists within my sphere. I don’t think she would feel that way if she didn’t like the way she looked, overall, or didn’t, in general, turn heads. So what made me so special—that the love of my life was necessarily a cut above the rest? Don’t we, in the next life, look exactly like we’re supposed to look? Aren’t we perfectly aligned with the universe, and, as such, there is nothing wrong with our appearance?
Yes, i think that’s the case, but I also think that I am made of certain frequencies that align better with some frequencies than others—furthermore, I believe that the resonance i achieve within myself will be mirrored in the woman I love—which means, at least, that I will find her exceedingly attractive. The fact that I find what many people find to be exceedingly attractive to be exceedingly attractive just means that some of us are a little bit ahead of the game, in this life, and, therefore, we’re more likely to find someone that, in some way, shape, or form, is also ahead of the game. So no, I don’t think the woman that’s meant for me will be overweight, in this life, because overweight people are, at least temporarily, out of balance with the universe, regardless of whether or not it’s their fault. That’s not to say they’re not perfect the way they are, in this life: indeed, we’re all forgiven for the way we treat our bodies. It just means they’re not for me.
That’s kind of harsh that was coming from Anna, and I suspect she felt that way because she was in love with someone that she’d grown older with—someone that she’d gotten used to over the years, and someone that, likewise, had gotten, and would get used to, her. I think she was well aware of the fact that at the rate she was going she would be overweight in ten years. And I think, well, when she called me harsh, she meant that my love for her, apparently, hinged on this—which it might have, I don’t know. I think, however, that it was a little unfair to assume that she would look heavier, at some point, than she does now, which is why I’d like to remind you, and her, that I can’t understand someone that doesn’t love me back—and, because of that, when I love someone, and they don’t love me back, eventually they start to look a little repulsive.