So how could a 5D coordinate be related to both 4D coordinates in 5D and 4D coordinates in 4D? Well the 5D universe embeds, or surrounds, the 4D universe, in the same way that space embeds, or surrounds, the earth. So the 4D universe curves into the 5D universe, although, for us, the surface of the earth would be two dimensional. So, just as we have coordinates on earth, latitude and longitude, that would be meaningless without the earth, so, too, we have coordinates in the 4D universe that would be meaningless without the 4D universe, and yet, at the same time, our position, on earth, can be given universal, three dimensional coordinates. So my paintings could have some existence at a particular latitude and longitude with respect to a 4D universe, and, also, some existence on a different, universal, three dimensional grid with respect to 5D.
Now, I’d worried for a bit—having become a little preoccupied, about physics last night, before turning off my light and going to sleep, and i’d woken up, this morning, around 6, still thinking about it—and i must have thought about it up until about 8, upon which, I decided that I could come back to this when I actually sat down to write my paper, and that, in fact, rushing to my notes this morning, and stressing myself out over various things that were going though my mind, some of which was only seemingly relevant, and some of which was only a passing confusion, that, after a spell, I would be able to figure out mostly on my own, would be a mistake. It would ruin my goal of having a measured, zen morning, with reduced tension in my neck, back, and shoulders. Anyhow, I’d left my dehumidifier off, and i was listening to my clock and projecting Anna’s voice as best I could. I’d also made the bathroom steamy without turning on the fan, and shaved in that makeshift sauna, before dressing.
Nevertheless, and, perhaps, needless to say, it wasn’t quite the same as having soaked for over an hour in a hot bath—but it was better. I considered, too, that coffee had been a part of my routine, in Mormon town, when I’d gotten out of the bath, and treated my days like a marathon—that coffee, actually, was a part of the zen a lot of people experienced in the morning hours. I didn’t drink coffee anymore—but I thought i might have a cup or two tomorrow—but, unlike my time in Mormon town, no more than that. Then I could switch to my soda pop. But I didn’t know for sure that I wanted to start drinking coffee again, to add even more caffeine to my system, which i might have been doing, even if, somehow, I managed to drink a little less soda pop. On the other hand—a little coffee, it seemed to me, wasn’t bad for you, and, considering that I don’t drink alcohol, a cup or two, and some soda pop, sounded like an acceptable habit. That meant, however, that my teeth might stain a little, which I didn’t like at all, but, I figured, with my advanced whitening toothpaste, and a just a couple small cups, I shouldn’t have a problem. I also considered looking into some teeth whitening strips, which I could apply over a couple weeks, about twenty or thirty minutes a day, which, I’d read, could help. So yes, I thought, I’ll have one, maybe two cups of coffee tomorrow. If I have three—I thought, then I definitely wouldn’t drink as much soda pop—as I thought it best, especially given my trouble sleeping, to stop drinking caffeine around lunch time. Then i switched to soda water.
The effect you get from coffee—if i remember correctly, can be a little more zen like than the effect you get from soda pop—which, because of the carbonation, i think, is a little more prone to get you high, which, I thought, I might put off a little longer, allowing the coffee to help me zone in. Well, I’d talked myself into it, now. I would purchase some instant coffee at the store today when my Dad and I went to get our dinner. Your making progress. I was glad she felt that way—as going back to drinking coffee might not necessarily seem like progress, but i think what she meant was that i was projecting her voice a little better, and refusing to allow physics to dominate my mornings, and stress me out at the very start of my day. I’d also made another adjustment. For a long time I was reading a book by an author that won a Nobel prize, in part, because I didn’t know what else to read. But reading it was a real chore, and, I’d made up my mind, once I finished it, not to read something that I hadn’t researched a little better, regardless of whether the writer was a Nobel prize winner or not. I’d reread, after that, A Wrinkle in Time, a young adult book about a tesseract; it wasn’t boring or pretentious like the book i’d just ploughed through. That made a difference, and I’d decided to read many more of Madeleine L’Engle’s books, and, I think, I’d made the right choice. So I’d made up my mind to go back to reading books that I actually enjoyed reading. I figured, after Madeleine L’Engle, well, for a time I’d gotten a little bored with crime dramas, but that was really all there was anymore that I enjoyed reading, unless I just got lucky and found something, which didn’t happen that often, but, I figured, i would go back to the spy and crime stuff—and steer clear of the so called high brow stuff, and, by high brow, I mean tedious works of literature that are preoccupied with doing something that might be considered modern or transcendent.
Now you’ve got my be the horns. Well, taking something by the horns could be dangerous, but, i gather, she was complementing my bravery—the various bisexual orgy that i imagined, and would, at least in heaven, let into my life. Now, do you want to hear about that? I consider that if you’re a family member you probably don’t—that thinking of the sex life of a family member is gross and unpleasant, and, in many ways I agree. But I wanted to hear about it from other people—not family members—and that meant that i imagined that other people were also looking for other people—non-family members—to dream up a sex life with, to identify with, to join sides with. I wanted that—and there was far too little of it in the literature that I read; that didn’t mean I wanted to read about the details of an orgy, per se; I wasn’t interested in reading something that made me want to masturbate right then and there. But i was interested in reading about characters that embraced that kind of thing, and, frankly, I didn’t think there were enough of them out there, especially not men. For some reason there seem to be more bisexual women than there are men—that men tend, more often than not, to be one way or the other, and i didn’t fit that mold, and there weren’t a lot of men—especially more heterosexual than homosexual, but still bisexual, men that i could turn to.
Well, I must say i was proud of myself for setting my physics work off to the side, and, potentially, spending much less time on it, and getting back, now, to integrating my emotions, and reaching out to people in an accessible way—a way that they can entertain themselves with, a way that will win over friends and fans in heaven. I’d recovered, at least in part, my voice projection mechanism, and the tension, at least in the morning, had been reduced. Will you think of me when I’m gone? “But where are you going? I mean, if I go, if you find someone else—if we find other people—will you think of me when I’m gone? Naturally, I would—just not as often. And I expected as much from her. But I was touched by this admission—that she wanted me to think of her, that she didn’t take me for granted, that she would do her best to keep the romance alive. That didn’t necessarily mean constantly feeling like you have to try new things together—as some people might advise. On the contrary, it just meant doing and looking your best, day in and day out, for yourself, your partner, and other people, too, people that, we must realize, we could, theoretically, at least, at some point in our lives, deem important.