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you’re going to pull through this quoth the joker; so where were we going? Altapass? the orchard. but did we want to go apple picking? people talk—Ursula talked—like it was fun. i guess the point is spending time with your family who else is going to go picking apples with you? Sounds like being good enough to get into heaven. now, i’m just telling you what i want to read, aren’t I? that being Ursula on my mind—i try to input her voice as i write, writing and reading in her voice to get a sense of direction—and talk, yes, talk to those that live on the other side of death. some people don’t ever die—you reach a certain age, and you stop aging. that’s the natural progression forward—to eternal life (advanced enough to cheat death, etc.). She was going to have to do a lot of convincing if she wanted me to give up thinking about Ursula the president. She seemed to insist: yes: she is waiting for me on the other side—so if I went with somebody else (when she was already dead or living an eternal life) then, she feared, she might lose me.
So, maybe i should think of Ursula the president a little less in that romantic kind of way—Ursula knew i had eyes for her—the woman Ursula the president represented might not have been the same person, etc. I don’t know—you do what feels right, don’t you? And when you don’t know what you feel, then do nothing. By doing nothing the answer you seek will be revealed to you—the question will come to the surface, and you will answer it. that’s what we all want. To be able to ask a question, think about it, and answer it ourselves. i want satisfactory answers, and, when i work with Ursula, i think, maybe she is the same person as the object of my attention—the person i see, the voice i hear when i get bored.
I twiddle my thumbs, then, searching for the right words to say that will make this conduit—even if Ursula is alive, on earth, right now, and my idea that Ursula is from the future and hasn’t been born yet is wrong—but how could it be wrong? let me get this straight: Ursula, in the future, is not the object of my dreams—she is my equal, and i speak to her through Ursula the president—who is the object of my dreams—at least, that is, until someone else better represents the Ursula of the future—the one that, for all i know, cheated death and never died. It is certainly tempting to wait for this unborn Ursula, and to go after her after I die—but she might not have the same address as me, since, of course, she can do many things that i can’t (but that, over time, I would be able to do) but then she would also be gaining traction, so we could visit, i think, but how could we ever exist, indefinitely, side by side?
No, she would remain my spiritual partner—in the future or, that is to say, at a different address. the fact of the matter is, Ursula explained, that you don’t want to miss out on all the things that happen between then and now—or now and then? No, she said. Not now and then—i’ll always exist in your future—and you can speak to me through your living partner—the one you choose on earth, or the one that will join you soon enough after you die—the one that shares your address. so i’d been getting it wrong of late—i’d gotten off track by thinking that Ursula and Ursula the president would eventually merge—and i’d marry the two of them. But in reality, there are different levels of the afterlife, and Ursula would remain my spirit guide—she would not come to live with me—ever; if she did, i’d need a new spirit guide—and i didn’t want to change my spirit guide even if I could. The best bet was to follow Ursula the president, and speak, through her, to Ursula of the future—the one that, through an advanced consciousness, got a little closer to the limit before i got a little closer to the limit—the end all be all dimension of dimensions.
But that doesn’t count the advancements i could make in the fifth dimension as i waited for Ursula to arrive; granted, she was from the future, but in the fifth dimension she would already exist—she’d just be somewhere else, which is the equivalent of being from the future. She could be someone that never dies—and make her way to me once she crosses the dimensional threshold, or I could be with her right now—in the fifth dimension, while this takes place! That seemed, the more I thought about it, to be the most likely scenario—that the two Ursula’s would merge into the one I share my future with (Ursula in the future would be a combination of me and Ursula the president, and Ursula the president would be a combination of me in the fifth dimension and Ursula from the future, so the four of us, then, were really just two people) just like I would merge with myself in the fifth dimension—who existed there, while this was happening. Could I talk to myself, then? Yes, i think—that would be like talking to my predecessor, a person that i could marry—like Ursula might marry me—but no! This was different. Ursula and I were together because we loved each other in that way—the love wasn’t what some might consider pure—that is, all spirit.
So maybe there weren’t an infinite number of levels to heaven—levels that would have prevented us from seeing each other—instead we lived in different places, at different addresses—and we can visit or even stay indefinitely if we want—as long as we won’t get bored—as long as there’s a reason to be there—such as being with someone that you love. I gathered the following, then: I spoke to myself whenever i projected my voice—and tried to tune in directly through consonants, the places of limited sound, and i projected my thoughts to Ursula, so that she could share them with myself—in this way my spiritual guide was actually me—talking to Ursula was a way of talking to myself because she, in turn, would process or relay what i said. Then i, in the fifth dimension, would be inspired, and, respond, in so much that i could be heard, to me (in 4D).
This is what it looked like, then: i imported my 5D thoughts through consonants and I exported my 4D thoughts to Ursula, who, in turn, inspired the 5D me, through her, to say something new—something that the two of us could understand. Furthermore, when I spoke in the voice of my predecessor, i created a bridge between them and the 5D me such that whatever i hadn’t processed already (just by being me at this volume) i could import through the 5D me. In this way the 5D me could speak to me, and, i think, he did more than i realized, although, for certain, finding his frequency in a sea of superimposed frequencies definitely meant that if I wanted to talk to him (me) directly, I’d have to do like I said, and import this very popular me by tuning my 4D self out and tuning Ursula in. That provided maximum communications.