14
Well, here we were: i’d decided to change my morning routine—to go back, as it were, to what i was doing years ago, when, as it happens, i was unable to do much but watch TV, i was losing my mind, and, simultaneously, I was developing my ideas about telepathic communications and the afterlife. Back then I used to take a long bath every morning, and that’s what i’d done this morning: i’d treated the bathroom, with a ticking clock, like i used to do, as my own private sauna. I’d relaxed, and kept time, for about an hour and a half, like i used to do. I did one thing differently, however; in the past, I used to recite the old ballad Chevy Chase, or Tam Lin; i no longer have them memorized, but, I thought, why not speak telepathically instead? So I made a journal entry of sorts—a telepathic journal entry.
It would be nice, I think, to memorize those two ballads again, and reconnect with the connections i was making back then—the connections that, although i relied on them too much, went too far, and found myself disconnected from my earthly life, nonetheless left me with many ideas about how things work in 5D, and, to this day, I stand by many of those ideas—i just don’t remove myself from reality by taking it too far—and allowing myself to believe that I, in fact, am actually living in 5D right here and right now, as opposed to 4D—and the real world that i, for now, do (and must), call my home. So, because, when I wake up in the morning, I can’t seem to get out of bed right away, and I find myself anxious, unable to sleep and tapping my foot or curling my toes as a way of keeping time, I can only assume that I am trying to talk to them, or that, perhaps, I actually am talking to them, but, because of my discomfort, the channel is probably not as good as it could be. So, I thought, I’ll give the bath life another try—connecting across space and time, using a more relaxed rhythm, one that, this time, hopefully won’t mask the loss of my sanity—or leave me with the ability to abuse my body with alcohol more efficiently, effectively making it impossible for me, after a while, to cope with my life.
Yes, i thought—it would be nice to memorize Chevy Chase and Tam Lin again—so that I could reconnect. They were a kind of driving frequency, so to speak, the means by which I aligned with other frequencies across time and space and communicated, thereby, through the 5th dimension. It was all very nice—as if, over the past decade, in order to reconnect with my 4D self, i had to disconnect from my 5D self, and now, it seemed, I might be able to repair. i was feeling quite positive about the future, and, in point of fact, the anxiety I had been feeling over the past few weeks made a little more sense, as if, unconsciously, i was making difficult decisions, grappling with this new resolution, and the advances I’d made not only with respect to RH—but, indeed, a shift, away from Anna, had taken place, and I was in a new place now. The transformation, the reconnection to my old self, and my 5D self, seemed to be taking place.
When you’re losing your mind it’s never as simple as being all bad—in fact, you’re probably losing your mind because your chasing the dragon—that is to say, your pursuing something that would make sense out of the universe, and align you with 5D, or what you unconsciously understand to be something beyond this life, or, at least, privy to it. You just get obsessed, and can’t focus, anymore, on real world events. Eventually you need alcohol, or you need to change your body in some way, in a bad way, a way that relies on borrowed time, in order to continue tuning out the real world, and tuning into the imaginary one. After a while the whole thing collapses, and you’ve lost your mind, and nothing makes sense, and, you can’t go on. But it didn’t start because you were deliberately chasing something bad—in fact, you were pursuing harmony with the universe, and, perhaps, some extradimensional understanding of it.
Now i’d been working for hours and hours on my math and now I’d gone back to revise my work—which took me into physics territory, which is how this whole RH progression started out, and all the scrolling i was doing with my AI helper was putting my shoulder and neck in a stiff position, and causing me pain and stiffness. It was becoming a problem—it was part of the reason I’d turned to a hot bath, to try and seek some relief. But I didn’t want to make the problem worse by forcing my shoulders down with a hot bath and then using that to continue with a stiff position that was causing a problem. So I didn’t know how, today, exactly, was going to go. I had to give my neck and back time to heal, so I’d thought, i won’t do all that scrolling today—i’ll rely on what I’ve gleaned through my telepathic channels in the bath, and focus on my poetry and this book. But the poetry and this book—a day’s worth of work—happened in about three hours. I didn’t spend all day working on it. That wasn’t how it worked. I tuned into a channel and got it done, and then moved on to a different project.
But I was going to have this gap in my routine—a span of a few hours or so, that I normally spent on physics and math, and, now that I was trying to let my neck and back heal, i was going to have a block of time that left me with little to do. Normally when I had time, I composed music, that was what I did nowadays—I’d added musical projects to my repertoire; i had some talent, and it passed the time. but that also involved using my mouse on my computer a lot, which is what put my shoulder in a tense position. Hence, I didn’t know, exactly, what I was going to do. The physics and math, indeed, was such an important part of my routine that I wouldn’t be able to give it a rest for more than a day or two—I just figured I needed, maybe, to take today off entirely, and then back off a little—working a couple hours instead of four or five. So I’d actually, the past week or so, been doing less on my poetry book and this book, as I was spending hours on my physics and math, and, I’d decided, to treat my body fairly, for now, at least, i was going to have to get back to these projects so that I didn’t wind up scrolling for the entire first half of the day. But I figured, too, that I needed to reconnect with the people that I connected with when I worked on these projects.