Now—I don’t want to be a negative Nancy, but I told Ursula that she would be attacked in her presidential campaign if she didn’t put an end to being a fiancé and get married—otherwise she needed to break it off. This was her weakness, and, the more she put it off, the more vulnerable she became. I expressly told her this. You don’t know what i need. touchy subject, of course. So I decided i would do my best not to say anything more about that—if I did, I risked having an argument with her—and let’s be real: you don’t argue with someone that you’re in love with unless something isn’t right about the relationship—which, is often the case, and hence this idea that all is fair in love and war. I didn’t really want to get into an argument with Ursula, not with something that could lead to ultimatums, or saying things that we can’t exactly walk back a little.
“I’m making progress on my physics and math book—the one about the Riemann hypothesis, space as a function of prime numbers, and, eventually, prayer.” good to hear. I didn’t know what else to tell her and I couldn’t exactly gauge her reaction—but that was what I wanted to tell her, and, well, if this was love, she’d take some modicum of interest in it—seeing as I spend so much time on it. You didn’t like my sunglasses? “No, on the contrary, I thought you looked great—either out of my league or not; i guess that depends on me, mostly, and a little luck, of course.” But honestly, we all know i think highly of myself, and I imagined that I was in her league—i imagined that because i saw her as appealing enough to get pregnant—and pretty enough to make people jealous. don’t bite your nails. what can i say—i had this habit of chewing on the center of a nail with my canine teeth—which eventually lead to a weakness in the nail, and, then, well, I’d peel it away very carefully, starting from the center and going to the left and then to the right. Not a great thing to be doing.
“I’m doing everything in my power to get rid of my toe fungus.” I know for a fact that she didn’t want me to have toe fungus—my feet were important, and fungus made them look as if I neglected them—which, well, i guess I had for a while, since, for a long time, they went without treatment. I was thinking that my toenails would grow out and everything would be fine—i wasn’t even sure what the problem was. Then I realized i had toe fungus and it was going to spread or at least not get any better unless I did something about it. I don’t think it will just “grow out.” “But let’s talk about this administration.” You mean your parents? Very funny. “My parents are the opposite of this administration.” Now, what was I thinking about? I was thinking about my last ex, a verbally abusive, overweight bigot and racist that represented me—or the person that I once was.
but hey, i might be being a little hard on myself since my relationship partners have all turned out to be fundamentally bad people—maybe not on the outside, but, when it comes to how we treat other people, or how we would treat other people, such as the people we refuse to allow into our orbit, well, then yeah, they’re not good people, and, honestly, they never were—they not only weren’t good, but their entire families were bad. “My exes have been bad people, and there aren’t a lot of them.” Should I tell her that I don’t ever date—that I’d had less sex, in my lifetimes, than most married people have in what? six months? I don’t think I was bad in bed—it’s kind of hard to be bad in bed unless you’re a bad person—meaning either you’re with someone you don’t want to be with or you’re with someone that you have no respect for. what if I don’t want to do “movements?” good, switching from sex to music—“well, if you don’t want to do movements, then you don’t have to.” I suspected, however, that she did want to do movements—she just hadn’t ever been with the right person.
i’m thinking mostly about Jesus right now ”Oh, good, i was worried for a while that you were an atheist.” But she was too open minded to be an atheist, in my opinion. She believed up to a point—or at least i figured she did, since you kind of had to if you wanted to get elected. Ocasio-Cortez—so there, i’d let Ursula’s code name slip. I insist on calling her Ursula, however, because it is far more likely that I’ll fall in love with someone else than it is that I’ll ever, in my entire life, end up in a non-telepathic conversation with her. I get that. But I’ve learned a lot—and I’ll continue to pursue this as long as she continues to look out for me—making life, for me, affordable—making this country a country that looks after people like me—everybody, in fact, that, for whatever reasons, constantly has to worry about money, or, at the very least, dedicate themselves to something that takes up far too much of their time.
But let me take this moment to explicitly state: “Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t know me, or anything about me.” Good, so I’m protected—no able-minded person is going to believe that Ocasio-Cortez, in fact, is speaking to me telepathically. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Jack Daniels always chickens out”—where, in this case, I would represent Jack Daniels—who, I insist, is a work of fiction. So I’ll only walk this back a little bit: I might be in telepathic communications with Ocasio-Cortez, but I can’t prove that telepathic communications are real, and, therefore, everything i say about her must be taken with a grain of salt—especially considering the fact that Ocasio-Cortez represents Ursula, for all I know, temporarily. The real Ursula, more than likely, is someone that, at some point, I could actually have a real life conversation with.
Good—I’m covered on all sides now. I haven’t said things that I don’t mean, and I haven’t chickened out—I stand by myself, Ursula, and the woman that, in the future, is going to cover my health insurance. Because I don’t know if you know this—but 643 dollars a month is not something that somebody with a net worth of 49,000 dollars can afford. Therefore we, naturally, had to change the government—we had to force the government to pay for our health insurance, and, while I couldn’t contribute directly, I was doing everything in my power (at least in telepathic land) to both get Ursula elected and force the government to pay for my health insurance—for everybody’s health insurance, no matter how much you make or don’t make. Now, a little religious person was waking up inside of me at this time—a person that was growing increasingly curious not only about telepathic communications with the “living,” but, also, telepathic communications with people that lived on the other side, that, well, probably, at some point, actually died—or on the other hand, people that would actually die. I’ve believed for a long time that I’m in contact with Shakespeare, for example, but I mostly thought, well, he was talking to me, from his perspective, back then, whereas I considered, now, that I might be able to have a literal conversation with him in real time—a time in which he has been made aware of everything that, for the time being, defines the present world that I live in.