why is superman so cocky when people can’t afford to live in California? who finds roommates acceptable? i certainly don’t—unless it’s family. “Who wants to wait until their forty to buy a house?” nobody’s going to vote for the vice-president—(superman’s gay brother?) “Rich white men stood up our country, but, let’s face it—nobody takes Vance seriously; he may believe that he’s going to be president – but everybody knows that he’d just be a substitute for somebody wealthier, somebody that never married a brown person, somebody that, so many years ago, wasn’t saying pretty much the opposite of what he says now. Nobody respects a turncoat. Nobody will ever trust a spy.
You know what i want? “the morning after pill?” very funny – i want to be this age, my age, forever i could remember thinking something similar when I was going through my thirties, but I’m much more sure of myself, and, consequently, far happier, than I was back then. I couldn’t fill up the day with my creations, back then. I wasn’t working on math and physics back then. I was cut off from something that now plays an important role in my life, something that shapes my beliefs, and it’s my beliefs that make me at peace with myself. But, anyhow, i wanted Ursula to stay that age forever, too; i wanted to get her pregnant, of course, and the more she aged the more frustrated i became. Ten years younger than me was something that sounded fair, though; that’s because women that are my age are beginning to really show their age—and the life they lived before—the one that you have to compete with.
i’m not a big fan of Martin Scorcese ”because he’s too high strung?” i’m not a movie buff—and movies become irrelevant after ten years; “just like rock and roll.” But what did she mean—was something getting confused in translation? was I high strung? No, not in that way—not literally. i don’t constantly need someone to talk to; i can feel alive while working on a math problem. I’m only boring to people that aren’t worth my time, people that may not even exist. Others can understand, they want answers to life’s bigger questions, and they’re willing to work for it. i’m tired of getting lied to on Instagram, threads, you tube, social media—etc. “it’s definitely easier to scroll down for a while than it is to read a book for the same amount of time.”
i don’t know what you’re on about. “I have a little vagina,” I said—in Ursula’s voice. i don’t know: maybe she did, maybe if I were a woman I would. it’s important to keep in mind that, technically, I was talking to two different people (for now)—Ursula the politician, and Ursula the fellow time traveler, to her time period what i was to mine. They were joined at the hip—so I was always talking to both of them, but I sometimes forgot to interpret Ursula’s thoughts as coming from a higher power. I think this higher power was the one that said they had a little vagina—they both said it, but there were always two different perspectives. Somehow “they” planted the thought in my mind, perhaps by using their voice while thinking of me. when i said it, then, i acknowledged what they said, and, in so doing, answered the apparent question: “i’m sure we’ll make a good match.”
I almost said we’ll be a good fit (like the opposite of what magazines say about your writing), but nobody wants to be a good fit—that makes you think of work. You want to stand out, you want to turn up the volume and make them feel things that they’re not used to feeling and probably won’t be able to recreate or revisit with someone else. be honest—since you remain undiscovered, i want you to ask yourself if you’re using me to get discovered, or, perhaps, to get into politics? i guess i was using her in some sense—everybody wants to be useful—but i’d wind up asking her the same question if I ever did get discovered, since, as it happens, I speak to a timeless generation. Are you saying that you’re work is more significant than mine? She got me—yes, I was saying that, and i would believe it even if she became president: I say that because presidents come and go; people are already looking past them when they get reelected for another four years—and if you don’t make it to four more years, you lose a little status. You’re best years are behind you—unless you have other talents. But if she got us all free health insurance—completely free, that would be a significant achievement that would go down in history. Who can say, at that point, that you don’t have other miracles up your sleeve?