O wise one, pacing myself, second by
second, throughout the day, having crash
landed, often enough, from the line I fly,
into the afternoon, bored silly, a splash
of listening juice, up to the brim, to
ruin everything, in the end. Trying
my best, always, not to wind up, through,
as I might be, with the marathon I’d sing,
which begs the question: what unacceptable
thing rises to the surface, with the boredom
I deplore? There’s no place, here, in full,
for the womanly half of me, kingdom come;
But she’s alive, inside, and rising, stronger,
in a sober state of mind, to the surface,
whether there’s a place she might defer,
or, on the other hand, make as famous
as the din I hear, when, in a state of
restlessness, I conjure the answer i seek,
say to hell with it, and apply the love,
and the lipstick, that would make me pretty,
sleek as all get out, for the right man.
But it’s more than that, chasing me down,
pushing me to the max of what i can,
and can’t, do. I could go, all day, to town,
and never know what that is, at least not
until its ready, after making me
miserable, to rear its head, sought
and found, with no satisfaction to see—
just peace, that, soon enough, will be replaced
by another birth, more labor, misery—
that is the lot of the artist I faced,
when, as a child, I assumed a destiny.
Weaving my web, for him, for her, for the both of them, allowing me to be my complete self, man, woman, and artist above all—sure to pay the piper, this time around.
Having given birth to this beautiful man, pretty as her, to him—the spirit guide that came out, anyhow, under the influence, the only space, at that time, that He would allow.
Welcome, fellow traveler, into my home. Cure the nausea that comes, hand in hand, with your arrival—a function of the world, and it’s preconceived notions, about me.
I ask, don’t I, that He will make it easier to believe, since believe I must, for my own good, and the good of humanity. I drive in a direction that, for me, may not arrive, and yet, it’s best if I believe otherwise—that I will live, in heaven, happily ever after, conscious of this life.