i’m not digging in yet i’m on the verge of digging in are you kidding me? Is this for real? but we knew that you had to run for president when the people wanted you to run for president—if you turned them down, then they’d be let down, and they might look elsewhere. even if you expected to lose you had to participate until that idea was extinguished or, to the contrary, you, as the underdog, pulled it off. Great going! This was going to be like watching the Braves win the world series!
But oh my goodness, how was i going to wait three years? There had to be some way to put Jack Daniels in prison—or at least put an end to his political career before that: then we could focus on getting rid of the vice president and the attorney general for lying to the FBI or something like that. We could get sneaky about it. Why not?
i had one qualm—however. i didn’t like people asking me for money—i didn’t give money away as a rule. I just didn’t have enough of it—and, once you give money to somebody, or even act like you’re considering it (maybe you paused on a social media post or something) all of a sudden the entire party starts asking for money.
Now i know what your saying: AOC needs your money because she doesn’t take money from large corporations—but I also knew that John Ossof needed money because he was in a tight senate race; then you had Gavin Newsom asking for money to do something about redistricting or something like that—i don’t know. Then you even had Obama asking for money. But the people didn’t seem to understand: i’d consider giving three bucks to AOC if i had a good job and what the heck, maybe i’d give AOC three bucks anyhow, but what about all the people out there that were going to start asking me for money, then? I couldn’t stand it—it’s like they put you on a list or something.
Nope—AOC was going to have to rely on her brains, her good looks, and her talents as a public speaker. She had my vote—but i didn’t have thirty million dollars like Gavin Newsom did—i needed somebody to get in there and make it possible for me to be able, in good conscience, to give money away—any amount of money. that’s why AOC had my vote: she knew our lives should be a little better.
where does the time go? i want to appeal to your humanity, AOC said. You’ve done that already. But what’s going to happen now that i’ve made this decision to keep myself one step further from asking others for money myself? i think AOC was a little hurt but she understood, and she wasn’t going to fight any less hard for a living wage and free healthcare. Free health care would help a lot. but nope—i wasn’t going to do it. i wasn’t even going to go there. now, i could say this: I would rather scroll past AOC asking me for money (for the chance to look at AOC) than i would see an add for Coca-Cola or something like that.
But Obama? Asking for money? I couldn’t take it! you were noticeably absent: you weren’t yourself: you didn’t stand up for me: but, on the contrary, i did everything in my power to make it clear how i felt. I wasn’t above telling people what I think, either. That’s the true path to fidelity, and, forgive me, but sleeping with your campaign manager’s wife is pretty harsh, unless, of course, you were in love—but it’s kind of hard to fall in love with someone that is your campaign manager’s wife, in my opinion. That’s like sleeping with your brother’s wife—or something like that. You can’t come back from that. It’s always there. And believe you me, that made it seem like Gavin Newsom didn’t even want to see how far he could go—whether he could one day be governor and then president. Maybe he never thought about it, but I doubt it. He’s rich, and money opens doors; he must’ve considered, at some point in his life, that he’d like to be the president—it’s crossed my mind, and it’s kind of a shameful thing to think, since I’m disabled and wouldn’t be able to do something besides paint, write, and study physics, so my chances are . . . but that was just it, you never really could banish the thought that you’d like to be president from your mind, and, because of that, I think Gavin Newsom either didn’t believe in himself, or, perhaps he did, and he just thought he could get away with it.