The path to asylum, and a drug free community, is inadequate. If you want tan skin, then let the Latine do their thing—and, in so doing, raise a happy family. If, then, we should intermarry (which is inevitable) we shan’t need to go to the tanning bed anymore, right?
Alex did not appear in her best light when i saw her last on TV; she tried too hard to get somebody to admit to doing something wrong, when, as it happens, too many people disagreed with her: she needed a more clever approach. So, I was trying to talk to her—but she was swearing, and I had to edit some of the things she was saying.
she was saying something about don’t do it that way; do it this way; i was trying to understand what she was talking about, but i think she might have been drinking and or arguing with her boyfriend because I was having trouble addressing her. this is what i mean
i don’t want you talking about me well, that wasn’t going to happen, so we, as a couple, had hit our first crossroads. Even if she separated from her boyfriend, i was still going to write about her and my relationship with AOC. As an artist, there wasn’t any getting around that. So, I figured: “If you don’t want me to say that, then we can’t be together.” I said that in Navajo speak, so, as long as she was taking a time out every now and then—such as over a glass of water, my message would get through.
She might also have been saying that she didn’t want me telling people she got drunk, or, as the case may be, i was wrong about her drinking alcohol. For all I knew, she never touched the stuff.
But my point was that she might’ve been doing something that made it difficult for me to speak with her.
So either she didn’t want to talk to me, or she couldn’t recognize me without the Dr. Pepper signature. So I opened a Dr. Pepper, as I often did around 11 am.
Then I heard this: “That’s not the person that I am.”
So maybe she never drank and never argued with her boyfriend. I couldn’t tell. But I made a note of the possibility and would approach the topic with more sensitivity in the future.
i love animals that’s great, i thought, i do too—so maybe she wasn’t mad at me; maybe she wanted to connect. Perhaps i was a little uptight, and i should not get upset when she goes around hugging people—and i shouldn’t hold her accountable for a chance occurrence of remaining in a hug for far too long.
but maybe that was uptight
“Who cares?”
She offered me a hug, but in my mind’s eye i couldn’t see it—i could only see shaking her hand and going all the way—nothing much in between.
that’s not me she insisted
i wondered then, what AOC had to say about this; sometimes it was difficult to tell them apart.
i was telling you that i could only assume, then, that AOC was saying that she was the one that said ”that’s not me” but I think that both of them were saying that. AOC was definitely some kind of math person, i concluded. that’s what i have a hard time seeing—probably, in part, to my ignorance (so far) of many things.
then AOC said: “i don’t want you to feel that way.”
again, i think the two were temporarily in sync.
Note to self, then: when thinking of AOC, consider her as a potential mate in heaven—and don’t deprecate our mathematical talents;
furthermore: don’t expect Alex to love you back—if she truly doesn’t want you to harbor feelings for her.
what?
that’s my what
Alex was talking then, about what she stood for, as opposed to just opposing the opposition. but like so many things in the land of telepathic communications, she was probably talking about multiple things—or i might have been misunderstanding her.
She might’ve been saying, “What’s your what?” As in what do I stand for? I tried to explain: in Navajo speak: then: i stand for AOC
what do You want? that was Alex’s polite way of saying that I don’t have people (at this time) behind me, and so it would be destructive for both of us if we should merge in physical space i agree
but i wanted to maintain this complex vector space: this realm where we could be with each other behind the scenes—with a potential, however small
Like believing in the afterlife, basically