i wasn’t feeling up to much of anything, and McCord wasn’t either. So I asked myself what, after all, was getting me down? Was it the futility of trying to speak telepathically with evil defined? As for everybody else, I was getting the basic questions: AOC was asking me what I wanted, and I didn’t know what to tell them; I’d made it clear, I thought, that I wanted Alex, and that, on top of that, Alex was going to help me and AOC speak to each other and a host of others that were looking to the future. so I struck a chord and told AOC in Navajo speak that I wanted them to realize their potential—which meant that I wanted them to be happy. AOC was glad to hear it, I think, because they sounded as if they were feeling a little insecure. That might have had something to do with the fact that I ran out of Dr. Pepper soda pop, and i wasn’t able to listen as closely as I might have otherwise been able to. They were just wondering where I was—and if I were mad at them.
I hear from Alex then, who said, You don’t know me, which is true—I didn’t, which might’ve had something to do with why she addressed me formally—she said You instead of you. I repeated that back to her and she said that we were going to fix that. “That’s great,” I thought, but I didn’t want to lose sight of my main purpose in this life—which wasn’t to get married and have children until after I’d realized my potential. Therefore keeping in contact with AOC was imperative. Then AOC said, “But it was Alex that was speaking to me,” which was only a little bit confusing, since Alex had a lot of people behind her, and her words meant something in a historical sense.
Then AOC said, Don’t fly off the handle, which made me wonder what had happened, or what was going to happen, that was going to test my patience. AOC basically admitted then, that, earlier in the day, when I was supposed to be having my soda pop, and they were having trouble communicating with me, they’d dumped a bunch of sugar in their coffee and dumped their back a little, eavesdropping on others and wondering what the future had in store for them. I say “dumping their back” because when they changed their physiology by adding all that sugar to their coffee—and allowing their thoughts to wander without counting and or measuring their breathing, i was getting inundated with calls from people that were using drugs or getting high in some way, shape, or form, in order to gain access to the thoughts that I might’ve otherwise had strictly with AOC. They were getting access to the future—AOC was turning the ship, and I (overwhelmed) was trying to keep up. No doubt, however, I’d have a load of information waiting to be attended to—another blog post in the making.
I told McCord, then, that I thought I was in love with Alex, and, if I had the chance, I’d be with her, but he just laughed and said: “Ok—then I’ll take my ex over you any day.” I thought that was a kind of dark and spiteful thing to say, because he knew that I knew he’d thought, for years, that his ex was the one that got away (until he fell in love with me) and, technically, he’d gone about missing her for a greater amount of time than we’d actually been together. But I also knew that she was married to a man that provided for her and their children, and, as such, she would’ve had no interest in somebody that drunk dialed her countless times only to resort to hateful speech when, as it happens, she’d left him for someone else—someone, incidentally, that she’d also abandoned, presumably for the man she had, the man that met her at the right time, and got her pregnant and had a job that made it possible for her to raise the kids.
McCord couldn’t compete with that, and he knew it, and he knew that I knew it, so, basically, he was saying that he wasn’t too worried about my love for Alex, since she was out of my league, and, besides, I’d never been a homosexual before—which is something that I know he was thinking, based on the fact that he wasn’t surprised or shocked at all when I told him about this my heretofore unspeakable love affair with a woman that had no idea who I was.