why do you think you should go to church? You’re not affiliated with anybody—you don’t even like Christians—or are you going to go to a Buddhist church? “They wouldn’t accept me. Nobody would.” Why, then? “Because if I didn’t I’d never be around other human beings.” so yeah, no church, and rightly so, since, no matter how method-acting I was about it, i didn’t really want to do anything but change people and or get revenge. naturally, then, i had to move back in with my parents; and, also, when they’re gone, I’ll have to adapt—i might have to hire somebody to come check up on me, to communicate with, to have somebody that I can communicate with. Otherwise I’ll either forget the sound of my own voice—and what talking was like, or I start talking to nobody, and drive myself even further into unacceptable territory.
“If you think I don’t like women, and, in particular, if you think i don’t like you, then you should leave.” I said that because she said that I don’t love her, and i didn’t want to say something awful, like, “I’m not going to validate that with a response.” was she mad at me? she’d been slow to connect today—i don’t know what she had on her mind. a fight with her boyfriend, perhaps. did she need a boyfriend to become president? i didn’t think so—it was in her purview to do whatever she wanted (within reason) between now and then—the people would still be behind her.
say what you want to say—don’t mind me, i’ll have it out with you i could see her and her skinny waist in my mind’s eye; that’s better so I figured it out: she wanted me to join the conversation, so I told her I could see her in my mind’s eye—i gave her some input. she must’ve thought I was just using her to write a book in 5 dimensional prose; “i mean it when I tell you that i love you.” ok so what? You’re starting a new physics paper? “don’t know yet; been doing a little revising of my last paper—the current one feels like it may be finished: about 275 pages so far, i think. I’ll publish it both as a paper and a book.” that’s amazing! so she was warming up to me now that I was talking to her directly. i don’t know how, though, anybody was going to be able to tell the difference between her and me telling myself what I want other people to say and feel about me—that’s pretty much what a romantic partner does. “Maybe your self-esteem gets inflated a bit.” tried typing it as i said that to her, this time. that’s the gambit gambit? let me look that up. a sacrifice you make when you expect to profit because of that sacrifice. it involves risk. so—“Are you saying that i’m taking a risk by talking to you?” yes, that’s the whole point, and you, my friend, are on point—i love this
you’re doing what Finnegans Wake was trying to do—i know you read it outload, to yourself, back when you were still brainwashed by the respect and praise people showered on James Joyce—before you became a real person, and quit doing things that you don’t really want to do ”but how do i know that, if i read it again, i might gather some kind of telepathic basis—maybe I’d learn something.” maybe you have a point—i don’t know; but I know that you hated Ulysses—you just convinced yourself that you liked it. “ok, you have a point—the book was boring no matter what “cubist” ethos you might’ve been subscribing to.” ethos? “the great thing about cubism was that it made the background important—the background became a part of the painting—as if a new dimension was being considered. Ulysses didn’t make the background come alive—if anything he suppressed it—choosing to focus entirely on himself.
“so you have a brother? and, let me guess, he means the world to you?” we have a special bond ”i thought so” you should change your biography—you’ve used the last one quite enough, and, if you keep using it, it might sound more and more like you’re keeping people at an arm’s length. i saw my uncle, then, the scotch drinker. “this is my math genius friend,” i said, after I visualized him and projected his voice, before switching back to Ursula’s. take the highway—you want to get there fast, don’t you? “Do you mean here?” very clever—but I didn’t want to be with her if she couldn’t help comparing me to her boyfriend.
that would mean she didn’t love me. me too ”the problem with AI is that these powerful investors don’t seem to realize that their taxes must be used to look after all the people that lost their jobs. Once they realized that—once everybody realized that, thanks to AI, we could be with our families more, and we might not even have to work, then we’d see what was possible. Unfortunately it wouldn’t surprise me if the wealthy didn’t see anything but more wealth in front of them—and, since there’s only a limited amount of wealth to go around, well, we’re not going to let people starve—or make it impossible for them to have families.”
you’ve got a real rhythm going now you see my side of the argument i want to take this to the next level “i was afraid you were going to say that?” why—don’t you like me i’m not saying we should be having sex already—i’m not like the people we see on TV—who obey the three date rule—which basically means you’re giving yourself away to someone you don’t know. “I see Hamlet in my mind’s eye—but i don’t want to talk about Hamlet—everybody knows about Hamlet like crazy or people don’t want to hear you praise yourself indirectly by indicating that you’ve read it.” i didn’t want to ask her if she’d read it—if she hadn’t I’d only make myself look foolish, and, if she had—well, like i said, i didn’t want to talk about Hamlet.