To start things off, we really hit it off! I was really going through the motions joking, again, i think, or was she trying to uplift me by denigrating her live in lover? i wear the pants that was perfectly fine with me; i didn’t like decisions making problems—and, because i lived on another planet, i wouldn’t always able to focus on the task at hand. it seems like the poets are letting you down easy—a very polite way of saying that I was too good to be rejected by so many magazines. If I hadn’t been submitting 24/7 of late then i was letting them down easy—i could write how i wanted to write, which didn’t involve imagery for the sake of imagery—and or any convention just for the sake of being considered “thought outside the box.” Furthermore, I could go back to rhyming a little—since, in my book, every poet, from time to time, should entertain the idea.
”One day I’m really going to be something; i’m going to be great.” Good for you what’s your Instagram handle? i was in an abusive relationship “but I thought you’d pretty much been with this one guy forever.” But i knew what she was talking about—she hadn’t kept it secret. But I wasn’t going to bring it up here—or, at least, I knew better than to write about it, or at least I thought I did—I don’t know what she wanted me to do. Maybe she thought she’d get more votes—I don’t know, maybe it was partly that, but the main reason was that she felt like she couldn’t be herself unless people knew that and accepted that already. you’ll be ready for me when i come but would I? there was no surefire way to know if this person I was talking to represented someone else; in our telepathic model, that was unlikely, since I’d encoded so much about Ursula in the model—but, because I might’ve never seen or heard anything about some other telepathic partner, she might’ve chosen Ursula to represent her. That would mean she knew a lot.
“Do you have fire in the belly? Do you live, or have you ever lived, in a world that compromised you? Will you die at the end—i mean, is this doomed to fail against our will?” i thought you might ask me that would it matter? “thanks for letting me get that off my chest!” now i was joking: her breasts were bigger than average, which mattered, but I didn’t allow things like that to overshoot our more redeeming qualities, just being skinny, for example—unlikely to become obese in your latter years. this is all just a fancy way of saying that you love me—but if you want me you get the total package, warts and all. “You can have warts removed.” But I knew what she meant, and that was her way of deflecting attention from the size of her breasts.
i see Elvis, now, and i’m being told that he did drugs so that he could share himself with other people “What have you been doing—reading in bed and listening to Elvis?” I don’t think Elvis was really giving us the real Elvis when he was using—he should have turned inward, and, possibly, retired. He didn’t owe anybody anything.” No, I was saying that you are like Elvis—minus the harmful things he was doing to his body I didn’t think Elvis was as handsome as people thought he was—the way you see people changes when you fall in love with them—suddenly the features are in fashion, and everybody defines beauty according to You.
i didn’t think you’d wake up this morning referring, i think, to my awakening after losing myself to schizophrenia and the world that made it worse; i didn’t do much of anything for hours on end—I couldn’t do anything but be still, and do my best to somehow force my way into the next dimension—the afterlife, or, that is, the alien world from which we came. but yeah, you woke up! “Thank you, Ursula.” But what did it mean when my voice said something? Was that input from other callers—a sort of frequency on top of my main frequency with Ursula? Or when my voice said something was that, in fact, me? the guy on the other side that’s going to be a little hung over when i die? Talking to him seemed to be the most foolproof way to make sure I was aligned with the 5th dimension. I think it’s a frequency on top of a frequency—and, as such, it could come from anybody that had something relevant to add to our conversation. Or it meant I was creating a driving frequency, and, in so doing, sending her information? It might’ve meant any or all of these things. But I think when I project my voice I’m aligning myself with my 5D self, and we, between us, merge frequencies and generate a more energetic response—one that overcomes the boundary between 4D and 5D. The more I knew about my 5D self, the less hung over I’d be—and the more I’d be able to remember this life.