I was playing with a characteristic amplitude that might serve as a password or a pin that i could use when i wanted to check my messages others intended strictly for us. For example, I could hear Ursula saying something (that I’ll keep private for safety reasons), and I turned up the sound, so it was like she was saying it louder than I heard her say it. This let me into an area that we had not yet been able to share because we’d been using a line that some (from the future) could use to tune into our conversations. I suppose it’s possible that someone could pretend to be me, here, in the present, and read all our emails, but that kind of talent probably wouldn’t exist in this world for many years to come. In the meantime, we’ll keep shooting hoops
A metaphor, i think, or a double entendre, meaning that we’d connect through tiny circles attached to every point in space and serving as a fifth dimension. You can get awfully close to someone when using the hoops—they’re all practically the same hoop—so you can shift from one hoop to the other when you want to change a subject, or, on the other hand, encourage someone to keep going in the same direction. I might have surprised Ursula by using the properties of a wave to enter her psyche and announce my presence there—closer to her center of being, because, at the time, she wasn’t saying much. I figured I could use different wave properties to create folders that we could share when we wanted to organize everything that we were sharing.
i don’t want to do that ok, i thought, at least she’s talking to me. She must’ve known that a semi-realistic ex had befriended me on Facebook, recently, and I had been considering—not really—seeing what her voice, or the voice i got when I imagined what her voice sounded like (it was so long ago) had to share. But I decided it was best for me to focus on the characters that i was using already, since those frequencies were the way that others addressed me. don’t share that was she reacting to the joint information we now shared (probably without trying to) which, basically, was all the general things we thought about when we didn’t choose a particular tone to apply to our thoughts? Such as our own voice for example—or, at least, the voice we hear when we project what we imagine to be the sound of our voice on a recording.
Was she afraid of what I might share with another person, now that I’d pretty much figured out how to befriend somebody from the future using wave properties? i guess she didn’t trust that my friends would be her friends—which was good, since, in most cases, we don’t like people talking about us—it makes our ears burn, and, furthermore, we’re subject to a person, then, that knows something about us that we don’t know they know. (We’re at a disadvantage.) Go hungry if you must now, i know what that was about—i was kind of dieting, a little, trying to get back down to 163 pounds, and she was exacting vengeance—punishment for worrying about her weight, when, if unchecked, my weight might get out of control.
Now, I wasn’t having bowel movements but every five or six days at a time now, and I was taking my psyllium capsules which were supposed to make me have more bowel movements. I was drinking more water, too. I was learning, anyhow, to use the bathroom incrementally, i.e., a little at a time, flush, a little at a time, flush, a little a time, flush, and so on, which i don’t think most people have to do and requires a degree of self-control and will-power that most people probably don’t share. It was not uncommon, even still, for me to let out a small amount that was hard, and, as such, semi-blocked the toilet—such that I had to move to a different toilet when that happened (mid-bowl-movement). I was telling Ursula all this to make her feel safe—by sharing what I wouldn’t normally share—which is something we do when we are having or thinking about having a sexual relationship.
Her response came soon enough: i can do that so maybe i wasn’t so abnormal, but, most people, when I tell them about my bowel movement period (i haven’t told a lot of people) are shocked. They tell me its unhealthy. They tell me its bad. My medication, I think, must have something to do with it, because i don’t every remember (some time ago in the past) having this problem—both with respect to the frequency of my bowel movements, the size of my bowel movements, and the constipation of my bowel movements. I just didn’t have any control over it. At least I wasn’t experiencing any pain, however—I felt fine, so i just tried to get better and better at releasing incremental amounts of you know what. Poo, i guess (or feces?) is the correct thing to call it. I certainly don’t want to swear or use dirty slang words. It was only natural, however awful it was to talk about. Go now: be at peace with the universe.