Are you okay? here i was, at the grocery story, buying loads of cream of mushroom soup and other canned goods and using it to fill up the closets so that i might somehow put a stop to this idea of junk accumulating and holding me hostage—as if i had a career that would’ve made it very difficult for me to filter through it. when the fire department arrived i was a little frightened—what were they doing there—were they there because of me? Luckily my Dad drove up and talked to them (such a chance coincidence) and i wasn’t institutionalized. I couldn’t help but think: “If only people would go after Jack Daniels with the same vigor that they used to go after me! Then I would be happy!”
AOC appeared on TV last night—and my hatred for Chuck Schumer increased two-fold, because, i think, he was already putting AOC down before she could run for his Senate seat. That seat, as far as I’m concerned, belonged to AOC—if, that is, she wasn’t running things from the oval office. But wasn’t i feeling a little more animosity for Chuck than was really necessary? What did Chuck Schumer really mean to me? I assumed he was in the closet, for one thing, and, because of that, he didn’t like the competition. All the closet homosexuals are in the closet because they want heterosexual partners, in my opinion. They needed to join the rest of us and accept somebody realistic.
So maybe i saw parts of myself in Chuck, and i was at odds with him over that! I’m just glad i don’t have to get bullied for being in the closet (since i identify myself, these days, as queer—to McCord’s chagrin). What did Chuck represent, then? Clearly he represented me—and, I could imagine, the way i felt about him might’ve been the way that others might feel about me! But I don’t know if Chuck Schumer was in the closet—i don’t know anything about him—except, of course, he’s a little too close to a republican for my sake, and, furthermore, he’d turn on you if he felt threatened or in danger of losing status and or money.
But who wouldn’t turn on you if they felt threatened by losing status or money? So what was my real beef with Schumer? He got threatened too easily, and he didn’t put the majority of the people in New York first. If he did, then he would’ve backed the (popular among New Yorkers) mayoral candidate Mamdami—the man, incidentally, that i got a little angry at for hugging AOC forever. But I got over it—wiser for the wear and looking forward to all the things that he was going to do that i was in favor of him doing. So this wasn’t about that: i wanted him in office even if he fell in love with AOC, divorced his wife, and married AOC. I’d still want him to be the mayor of New York.
What is it like to be the leader of the pack? it’s nice, i thought, but “it’s not about that, either. it’s about making discoveries that help me to understand myself and my place in the extra-dimensional world that defines me.” Deep stuff! but i think AOC was mocking me, just a little. who wouldn’t? who did i think i was—to say such a thing? Any experienced person would wait for evidence before openly declaring that they are defined by an extradimensional reality—one that defines the pursuit of happiness in this reality—a place with three spatial dimensions and one time dimension. It was a little difficult at times to make the kind of discoveries that I doubted but at the same time believed in mesh with my real world persona—a schizophrenic entirely dependent on the love and generosity of his parents—a persona that was lucky enough to have parents that could look after him, both now and after they are gone.
So the government shut down—something that i don’t know all that much about, save the idea that it’s some kind of game of mercy or tug-of-war in which the party in control of congress bullies the lesser party into passing their bill. I know everybody gets paid for their time off once the shutdown is over with, but, for a time, people have no money coming in, which is what makes it a terrible game to play. In this case the republicans wanted to pass a bill that was going to make healthcare unaffordable for a huge number of Americans—and everybody’s premiums were going to go up, while, as it happens, a living wage does not.