i was feeling a little on edge because there was supposed to be an ice-storm tonight and the power was expected to go out, possibly for a few days. What in the world was I going to do with myself if the power went out? could i sleep fourteen hours, write a little poetry, read for about thirty minutes, and then what? furthermore, the likelihood of sleeping fourteen hours was so far out of my pattern now that i wouldn’t be able to do it. I couldn’t paint in darkness either—this was going to be wall to wall torture for me. Every intrusive thought I could possibly have would come barreling in—i’d try to sleep it off, but with no tv—how would i doze? I’d simply work myself into a state because of my thoughts. I would be under telepathic attack.
Should I pray? Now that I had some idea of God and what that meant—and how, theoretically, it was possible to communicate with Him—could i do it? But I was already doing it, wasn’t i? Perhaps with a better understanding of mathematics and His frequencies—His colors, too, i could get a response in real time, but that kind of acuity was a long way off—i spoke English, but not a more fundamental, universal language based on mathematics—unless i was already doing it without realizing it. After all, I was interacting with Ursula—why couldn’t I interact with God, too? As long as I’m following the law of love, and being true to myself, then, the way I see it, I’m speaking His language—and he can speak directly through my 5D self, or whoever it is that I’m channeling—they are representations of myself.
But seriously, i was really miffed. I hoped with all my might that the power wouldn’t go out—and, if it did, it wouldn’t last for days, not even one day, i’m begging here—i have no other choice—no other way to look after myself. i was going to wind up completely shutting down, praying for sleep—fourteen hours a night of sleep. At least then i’d be entertained by my dreams and that uncertain something that arises when we dream—a feeling that we are doing something of the utmost importance. Hello, are you there? “I’m here—i’m worried about the power going out—can you make yourself available?” I have no source of distraction and or entertainment when the power goes out.” Hmm, let me see; I suppose i can serve as a conduit—forwarding you the energy in my back as i go throughout my day. “That would be great—i just hope my bad thoughts don’t get in the way. This will be a marathon—not a sprint.”
What have you decided? “I want a baby.” Is that a dealbreaker? “Don’t you realize that a pregnant president would be just what the doctor ordered—a path that will win people over—and put the jerks in their place?” “I see two people when i look at you, Ursula. The one is the president, and the other is a young woman that I can relate to as a friend. Those are two vastly different ideas that I have of you, but, with a little faith, you make perfect sense, if, that is, you’re actually the goddess I admire.” She was saying, or trying to say, not to build her up like that, since she can’t be a goddess and a presidential actor at the same time. But I begged to differ. It might have been convenient to isolate women by putting them on a pedestal, but that wasn’t what was happening here; Ursula had brown skin, on the one hand, and she was called to serve on the other.
The democratic elite deserved to suffer—since that, apparently, is the only way they’ll learn: capitalism is wrong. We need to get the rich out of politics—they only make life miserable for the rest of us—and there are far, far more of us than there are of them. So what gives? The democratic elite—those that hold on to power because they serve the wealthy, plain and simple. It was just so sad that Ursula couldn’t imagine herself with a baby; i mean—maybe it wouldn’t be good for the baby to go on the campaign trail, but, then again, why wouldn’t it be good? Ursula takes care of herself—just keep her off the pastries and everything will be okay. But now Ursula posed the question: are you going to mother this baby—because I won’t be able to. “You will be able to—and yes, i can work while the baby sleeps.” Sleeps? Are you kidding?
“What I’m saying is that i’ll adapt—and you will, too. Be true to yourself and what you want out of life, Ursula, and you will be most attractive.” You realize this issue could break us, don’t you? “I’m already broken.” the wind outside was picking up: my nightmare was beginning. Surely if I aligned with Ursula, and, through her, with God, He’ll spare me the misery that, reportedly, was coming my way. Boredom is torture, and I think, if i have a baby, i’ll be bored.” But everybody needs down time, and down time doesn’t exclude a relationship with a baby. But i knew better than to keep pushing the issue – time would tell whether Ursula was the woman that waits for me, or if, for now, she simply represented someone else. So i mumbled a small prayer: to discover Ursula in the flesh, and to keep the power on. And, according to my theories, 4D can interact with 5D, so I wasn’t simply asking. I was also making a difference, even if, on some occasions, that difference wouldn’t be enough.